Alla, Ukrainian-Israeli-Samaritan

Where are you and your family from?

— I was born in Crimea but lived in the Kherson region in Golaya Prystan. Then I married a Samaritan and lived in Israel for 13 years in the Samaritan community. There, I had two children. The older son is now 13, and the younger is 9. My husband and I divorced a year ago, and I left for Georgia. The older son lives with my husband in Israel, and the younger one lives with me.

How did it happen that a Ukrainian girl married an Israeli Samaritan?

— Completely by chance! I was not going to get married at that moment. I was working in a cafe in Golaya Prystan. One man who worked nearby at the bus station often came to us for coffee. He and his wife had once lived in Israel but then returned. His wife worked as a Hebrew translator for a marriage agency that sought brides for Samaritans. When she came to our cafe, she always said, "I'll marry you off to Israel!" and I always replied, "I'm not interested. I'm fine here!". So we laughed. But one day, she called me: "Are you free? Can you come to Kherson? We have a man here, so cool! But I won't try to marry you. We just need to show different girls. And we don't have enough. Help me out? Just for a ride, then we'll have coffee?". It was a half-hour bus ride, so I said, "Okay, no problem." That's how I met my future husband, and a week later… we married.

Don't be afraid, there's nothing scary, they won't take you into slavery or cut your organs.

Why such a rush?

— Uzi, my future husband, and I began to communicate. I didn't know Hebrew, just a few English words. But my translator friend was always with us. He proposed three days after our first meeting: "I want to marry you, but I don't have much time because the return ticket is in five days. Let's have the wedding now. You stay here to solve all the issues with the documents. And I will wait for you there." I've always wanted a prosperous, cozy home and a happy family, and I saw in Uzi a mand that could give me that.

Uzi brought with him a photograph and a letter from a girl named Alexandra from Kherson. At that time, she had already lived in the Samaritan community for about seven years and had written him a letter to help him. It said something like, "Hi, my name is Alexandra, I've been living in Israel for many years, everything is good and peaceful here, don't be afraid, there's nothing scary, they won't take you into slavery or cut your organs..." I guess this letter calmed me down.

How did you decide to change everything so radically in just a week?

— As a little girl, I practiced singing with a teacher named Klim Anatoly Mikhailovich. He was a Jew and often took me to synagogues in Kherson. He kept saying, "I will take you with me to live in Israel." For some reason, I knew from childhood that I would live in Israel. I even told my girlfriends that when I grow up, I’ll get married and go to Israel, "You'll see!". And when I came to my friend with the words that I'm getting married in a week, I'm going to Israel, she didn't believe me: "I've been hearing that story for ten years." It was my childhood dream, so I took a chance. I thought it was my destiny.

We drove into the village of Kiryat Luz, and I saw some hovel, a huge family with 33 wives, 300 children, and a herd of sheep—my heart sank, and I felt dizzy.

Tell me about the relocation and your first impressions.

— The wedding was on June 5th, and I flew to Israel in mid-November. It took almost six months to prepare the documents. My husband met me at the airport. I didn't know anything about Samaritans except what the translator explained: they observe the Sabbath, and when a girl has her monthly cycle, she can't do anything: "You sit like a queen; everything is brought to you." I thought, well, cool. And there we were, driving through the mountains for a long time. Uzi explained to me, as far as I could understand him, that our house was the first in the village. We drove into the village of Kiryat Luz, and I saw some hovel, a huge family with 33 wives, 300 children, and a herd of sheep—my heart sank, and I felt dizzy. But it turned out to be the house of an Arab family, and our home was the first one from the other end of the village.

How did your husband's family welcome you?

— When we arrived, Alexandra, the girl who wrote the letter, met us. And the whole family was waiting in the house, brothers, sisters, a lot of people, all looking at me, shouting so loudly! I didn't even know that they didn't speak Hebrew but Arabic. I was shocked and didn't understand how we all would live here as a commune. Finally, after about 15 minutes, Alexandra came and calmed me down, explaining that the first floor was his brother's apartment, and we lived separately on the third floor. Finally, we went up to our place; my head was spinning. In the beginning, I often cried at night; it was hard for me.

I remember I went out in some jumpsuit, and his sister grabbed me and pulled me home, shouting, "No good! No good!". I couldn't understand what was going on.

When the Sabbath came, I didn't know that they don't allow a girl to wear pants on the Sabbath. I remember I went out in some jumpsuit, and his sister grabbed me and pulled me home, shouting, "No good! No good!". I couldn't understand what was going on. Finally, she took me to my room, opened my closet, pulled out a dress, saying, "This is good." She explained to me, somehow, that you can't dress like that today. The next morning, my husband went to prayer, and I heated up the borscht I had cooked the day before. When he returned from prayer, he looked at me, clutched his head, and started yelling something—again, I didn't understand anything; nobody explained that on Shabbat, you can't use electricity or turn on gas. Finally, they brought Alexandra, who explained the rules to me in detail.

I always went around the house with a notebook and wrote down all the names of the objects. In my spare time, I would go to Alexandra's house, and she would teach me. In three months, I spoke Hebrew. And when my first child was born, I learned Arabic.

What other unusual customs were there?

— When a woman has a menstrual cycle for seven days, she is not allowed to do anything — she can’t cook or touch anything. I had a separate bed and a separate bathroom. My food was brought to me by his sisters, and if I needed anything, I could call on the phone, and they would bring me everything. It's the same when you give birth to children, with boys 40 days, with a girl 80 days, plus the first week you can't go outside. But it was even calmer for me with children — I knew no one would take the baby, and I was alone with him.

Another unusual thing is that Samaritans do not eat meat outside the house. You can't order meat in a restaurant, only at home. Female animals like cows, goats, sheep are also not eaten.

What about religion? Did you have to take their faith?

— I'm a baptized Christian, and I haven't changed my religion. When the Cohen, their chief rabbi, performed our wedding ceremony, he read the prayers, and it's sort of considered that I accepted their faith, agreeing to observe and honor their traditions. But it was not recorded anywhere, and I am staying in my faith. All Ukrainian girls honor their traditions but do not renounce their faith.

Samaritans had a shortage of girls, so they started marrying cousins, and because of that, the children started having genetic problems. They had to dilute their blood. Their national and religious identity is passed down through the father, so the men decided to marry Ukrainians.

How many Ukrainian girls like you there are married to Samaritans?

— When I arrived, there was Alexandra and another Lena from Russia. Then, I brought three or four more girls there. Now, there are probably thirteen or fourteen Ukrainian girls. The thing is that the Samaritans had a shortage of girls, so they started marrying cousins, and because of that, the children started having genetic problems. They had to dilute their blood. Their national and religious identity is passed down through the father, so the men decided to marry Ukrainians. But Samaritan girls can only marry Samaritans.

Why did you divorce?

— We had a significant age difference. I'm 37 now, and he's 67. He saw that I was young, that other men were looking at me, and he was always jealous. It took me a long time to decide to leave him. As a person, he's very dear to me. But staying together became very difficult, so I decided to go.

He suggested just moving to another city. But I realized nothing would change, he would constantly come, and we would fight. I decided to change everything radically. He bought tickets for me and our boys and took us to the airport. But it was hard for him; he always called and missed the kids. My eldest son is a very vulnerable boy; he decided to return to his father because living alone was hard for him.

Are you all citizens of Israel? What languages do your children speak?

— We're Israelis. The children speak Arabic and Russian. And the older one is good at English and knows a little Hebrew, while the younger one doesn't. But both can read their Torah in Samaritan—it is not the Torah of the Jews. It's written in a different language.

Are your children Samaritans by religion?

— Yes, we are about to fly to Israel for Samaritan Passover. My son needs to be there because of his faith. Samaritan Pesach is different from the Jewish one: they celebrate it at another time, dress up in white, and sacrifice lambs.

My son calls his favorite uncle daily, and they read from the Torah. It's important to him, and I'm all for my kids sticking to their faith. I like their religion. We Christians have a lot of alcoholics and drug addicts—the Samaritans don't have that; they are brought up to be more decent. I feel safer with my children being Samaritans.

Weren't you afraid to let your son go to Israel, where there's war now?

— Very afraid. He lives on the border with Palestine and studies in a Palestinian school in the neighboring town of Nablus. But I couldn't keep him by force; it was his choice. He is already 13 years old, a teenager, he is going through puberty, and if I held him back, he would hate me. So I let him go, but naturally, I'm very worried, I'm always in touch with him. I hope that everything will be fine. It is a holy place there, and I am sure God will protect them there.

Which God?

— The Almighty, the Creator, he is one for all, just everyone calls and honors him a little differently.

You are a Ukrainian and an Israeli. There is a war going on in both your countries. What do you think about these conflicts?

— I found myself between the fires! All my relatives, my father and brothers, live in the territory of Crimea and support the Russian side. Because of this, my older brother and I stopped communicating. With my father and middle brother, we stay in touch, but we don’t discuss politics. I made it clear to them that we either don’t bring up this topic or we won't communicate.

The Arab-Israeli conflict is also very complicated for me. I am a supporter of Israel, but I have many friends in Palestine. My best friend is Arab, and she’s, of course, pro-Palestine. But I want to tell you that most of the Palestinians do not support Hamas. They suffer from it themselves.

In this situation, what do you think about the idea of a nation? Is it meaningful to you?

— I am Ukrainian at heart. Every year, without exceptions, I fly to Ukraine. And every time I come down from the ramp with tears — this air, this land is my homeland.

There are good people on all sides: in Israel, in Palestine, and in Russia. Now, in Georgia, I see a lot of people from Russia, they’re here because they don’t support the war and have to go abroad. And still, they are hated in Georgia. Recently, somebody mistook us for Russians and started yelling at us. I told them: "Sorry, but we are not from there". This label "Russian" will stick to them for many decades. Just as Germany had to wash itself clean for half a century, so now Russian nationality will be hated for years.

Text Asya Chachko
Illustration Victor Melamed

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